Songs for the Struggling Artist


My Genius Idea for a Book
December 8, 2021, 6:44 pm
Filed under: space, writing | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I just remembered this absolutely genius idea for a book I had about 25 years ago. When you hear it, you’re going to be like, “Yeah! What a brilliant idea! What a shame you didn’t put that together! You’d be a millionaire already!”

Here it is: A guide book of cafes around the country, with reviews and photos and maybe little drawings and scraps of writing I’d done in them.

Can you believe I missed out on this golden opportunity?

I’m kidding of course. I know this idea would have gone absolutely nowhere. And it cracks me up thinking about it now.  It was not long after I had this idea that people started creating multiple review web sites for all things, all around the world. But at the time, there was very little café culture to speak of and as I made my way around the country, finding a little spot where I could happily drink good coffee and write, was like finding little jewels scattered around the place. I thought I might go on a little search and seek them out, like an old school explorer.

Now you can find a Starbucks in every town and a laptop on every table. Café culture has simultaneously grown and practically disappeared.

I wanted to write such a book because I wanted to be able to use such a guide. And despite the fact that Yelp and Trip Advisor and Google exist, I sort of still do.

For one thing, these web services are hardly even good for what they should be good for. For example, while they may alert me to a café possibility in the location I am searching, they often do not tell the whole truth. Especially lately. Yelp, for example, has a handy filter feature that allows you to search for only places that are open now and/or have outdoor seating. I got all excited! Hooray! This place looks cute, is open now and I can sit outside, where I feel safer! When I arrive, though, usually after a good long walk to get to this miracle spot, I discover that they have no seating or just one (occupied) table out front. Or – even worse and also more common – the place, reported to close at 7, closed at 3 or 4. So this modern, up to date, technology is, in fact, no more up to the moment than a book would be. With a book you’d at least know the hours might have changed. You’d plan for that. With Google, you expect it to be accurate. Or at least I did before.

More significantly, there are things I want to know about a place that these websites rarely tell me. Will it bring me inspiration? Is the atmosphere rich in ideas? Can you feel a history in the walls? Is there art there? Is the art good or just for sale? Are the baristas artists, too? If we paused in our work, would we end up talking about philosophy or the fascinating musical history of Ziad Rahbani? The fact is that the Starbuckification of cafes has meant that there are a lot of chairs at tables that will give you a cappuccino but there’s not a lot of soul out there. There’s no soul rating on Yelp. There’s no box I can check to let others know I got hit with an inspiration wave at the table by the window or had a life changing conversation under the skylight. My book would have told you that.

But unfortunately, given the way the internet has worked, historically, it tends to collect things into boxes of popular and unknown and there’s nothing about this book of mine that would have been popular. It would never have sold. Even if I could have magically popped it into existence when I thought of it. It mostly makes me laugh to think of how unpublishable this idea was, how of its time it was. It’s a funny sort of unfulfilled dream – the kind you know would have been a failure but you’re still a little sad you didn’t make it.

Why, yes, good sir, I’ve gone back in time to publish my genius book idea and I wondered if you might sell it here in this 19th century bookshop.

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