Songs for the Struggling Artist


Spotify Is Acting Like a Cartoon Villain

Over a decade ago, my friend wished I could be there to sing her baby some lullabies so I recorded some and wrote one specifically for him. Then I burned those songs onto a CD and put them in the mail. I did this for a fair number of my friends with babies for a fair number of years. Then some of the parents of those babies wished they could listen to them on Spotify and so I put them up there and they became available for anyone who wanted them. Now, hardly anyone has a CD player anymore, so I send new babies a link. It’s somehow not as special but companies like Spotify made it this way.

My music has been on Spotify for something like seven years now. Of all the albums up there, the lullabies are the most popular and my friends who listen to them there like knowing that I get a little payment every time they listen. That’s not something that happens when you listen on a CD. The payment on Spotify isn’t much (between .002 and .005 cents per play). I made $43.24 last year (from all the streaming services, not just Spotify) but it’s something. And it is a meaningful something. It’s money I have earned in sharing my music with the world. I could have kept these songs for only the families I made them for but in sharing them on Spotify, I can also maybe buy a stuffed animal or a book for one of these babies, in addition to writing them a song.

Do I get a lot of streams? No. I don’t have a fanbase. I don’t have an agent. And Spotify’s discoverability algorithm is useless. Some of my songs get only six streams a year.

And now Spotify, beginning next year, is going to deny me any compensation for any song that did not get 1000 streams a year. If only 999 people listen to one of my songs, they will take that money I earned (with my art) and they will put it in a pool that will go to the major labels. It will go to places like Universal Music Group and maybe back to its artists, like Taylor Swift, and leave me with nothing.

I find it kind of comically villainous. Spotify is taking money from its least popular artists and giving it to the most successful companies. (There are only three of them!) They are literally taking from the poor to give to the rich. It’s like they’ve entirely missed the point of Robin Hood.

Let’s say I made five dollars with one of my lullabies. Maybe that doesn’t seem like a lot of money (and it isn’t, that’s another bone to pick with Spotify, their absolutely embarrassing artist compensation rates) but that five dollars is more meaningful to me than it is to Universal Music Group. It’s a significantly larger part of my income than theirs, proportionally speaking. That five dollars is literally worth more to me.

And speaking of Universal Music Group, their CEO is reported to have called the indie music companies, “merchants of garbage.” He has so little opinion of the music that isn’t popular; He calls it garbage. He’s calling my work, my lullabies, which have sent my friends’ babies to sleep for the last thirteen years – garbage. I’m on Spotify through those indie platforms. I am the garbage that the Universal Music Group wants to see disappear. He’s a cartoon villain, this guy. Not everyone is Taylor Swift, Mr. Monopoly. And I only see one piece of garbage around here and it isn’t any of my fellow indie musicians making pennies on their songs.

Spotify plans to steal all the earnings from the scrappy indie musicians who could really use five dollars to buy a coffee, to give to the who guy probably pays several assistants a yearly salary to bring him a coffee. Are these guys sitting in their offices twirling their mustaches? It sure seems like it, tying artists to the railroad tracks like that.

Can we stop this? I sure hope so. I’d hate to have to pull my lullabies from a platform because it’s run by cartoon villains now. I’d like to see Spotify turn this terrible idea around and while it’s at it, maybe increase the compensation for indie artists, too. I mean, spotlight is on you, Spotify. Are you going to keep tying us to the railroad tracks or help us up? Give us a hand and dust us off.

I know about this mischief Spotify is getting up to because of a fellow indie artist, who shared it to a group I’m in because of another indie artist. David Wellbeloved created a playlist on Spotify to try and help lift all of our boats. My song on this playlist is at the top of my Spotify plays because of their efforts. That kind of support is the opposite of garbage.

And by the way, the head of Universal Music Group says he’s sorry about calling us garbage, “Sorry, I can’t really think of another word for content that no one really wants to listen to.” I have a little story I’d like for him to think about. This year, one of my lullaby kids got injured on the playground and at the hospital, he opened up Spotify, typed in his own name and comforted himself by listening to his lullaby. Just because a thousand people don’t know his lullaby doesn’t mean no one wants to listen to it. Someone very much wants to listen to it. And not just once.

And Spotify can be the good guy in this situation or twirl their mustache some more. They’ve reported that they stand to take $40 million from indie artists this year if this policy holds. I hope they turn it around. If not, I may return to burning CDs for my friends, like in the old days.

Artists, we can write to Spotify here: artists.spotify.com/contact.

And there is a movement to take this to congress to make this kind of wage theft illegal – so contact your reps, too!

If want to learn more about this, watch this video.

“This year, I plan to steal $40 million from poor indie artists! Eventually, I will have $40 billion!!”

This post was brought to you by my patrons on Patreon.

They also bring you the podcast version of the blog.

It’s also called Songs for the Struggling Artist 

You can find the podcast on Apple PodcastsSpotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Every podcast features a song at the end. Some of those songs are on Spotify, Apple Music,  my websiteReverbNation, Deezer, Bandcamp and Amazon Music.

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Art or Hobby?
February 5, 2023, 10:39 pm
Filed under: Acting, art, Creative Process, music | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

My artist friend was in artistic crisis. We all of us have them and the crises are so clever, they seem to always give us new takes on the theme. There seems to be an endless variety of artistic crises to be had. Knock one down, another, slightly re-framed one, will pop up to take its place.

This one my friend was in was a hobby crisis. It’s one where she asked herself something like, “Is my work just a hobby? Other people seem to see it that way.”

From the outside, I can tell her, “No, your artwork isn’t a hobby. It’s fucking art and all the people who don’t know the difference can fuck all the way off!” But I’ve been there and I know that some further unpacking might help all of us deal with this concept that is many artists’ least favorite word to hear about our work –  hobby.

First, whether or not your art is a hobby has nothing to do with whether or not you get paid for it. Money isn’t fairy dust that transforms hobbyists into artists. An artwork is an artwork because it is an artwork, not because someone paid for it. People buy things with money that aren’t art all the time. Money doesn’t turn your couch into art when you hand over the cash. People buy stuff from hobbyists too. Money does not legitimize or create art. Artists create art.

So what makes it different from a hobby then, if it isn’t the professionalism of receiving money for it? How do I distinguish between a hobbyist and an artist if it isn’t money?

It’s actually really simple. It’s intention. If someone makes things with the intention of creating art, of creating something meaningful, with layers and craft, that is art. If they make things because they are called to it and follow a kind of internal aesthetic compass – that person is making art. If they sacrifice things and money and maybe even relationships for it – it’s even more likely that it’s art. If they broke open their heart to give it to us – it is certainly art.

Hobbies are often activities that people enjoy. Some of them are even the same medium as art. There are people who paint as a hobby or act (let’s not forget what Uta Hagen said about these folks) or sing or any number of things that are artistic but still not necessarily art, even if they’re doing arty things. The activity is not the art part. The art part is what it’s for and the spirit with which it is made.

This is not to denigrate hobbies in any way. I’m an artist. I make art. But I also have some hobbies which I enjoy and which enrich my life significantly – but I know the difference between the things that are my art and those that are my hobbies. Let’s take quilting. I’ve made some nice baby quilts for my friends in the past. I enjoyed making them and they are (I hope) attractive objects – but they aren’t art. Are there some quilts that are art? Hell yeah. I have seen some amazing quilted artworks. But I know what I’m doing when I stitch squares together is nothing like what Bisa Butler is doing when she makes a quilt. We may be using the same tools and doing similar activities but our intentions are wildly divergent. Calling my quilting a hobby isn’t an insult. It’s accurate to what I’m up to when I do it. It WOULD be insulting, however to call Bisa Butler’s artwork her hobby, even if she’d never sold a piece in her life. But anyone who has dedicated their life to art – at some point has experienced this kind of dismissal.

Mixing up art and hobbies is also problematic for hobbyists, I think. I follow the crochet subreddit and I think most of us would agree that crochet is most often a hobby. Could an artist make art using crochet? Absolutely – but you don’t see a lot of them. One thing I’ve learned from observing the posts from this community over the years is how even the hobbyists are not permitted to just enjoy their hobby and let it be a hobby and that’s it. So many people talk about being pressured to sell the things that they make – that few people can let them just make what they make without encouraging them to capitalize on their skill. Crochet a cute hat for yourself and the next thing you know, everyone wants you to start a hat business. It feels as though our capitalist society cannot let anyone just enjoy the things they make, be they hobby or art, without worrying about how we’re going to profit from it.

Honestly, I want respect for both art and hobbies. Arts and crafts have inherent value. (I think it’s important that these words are separate, even if they once meant more or less the same thing.) Nor arts nor crafts magically gain more value when someone pays for them. Trying to clarify the difference between hobbies and art has nothing to do with devaluing hobbies and everything to do with just understanding how to distinguish between them. To know art from craft.

Sure, I’m an artist, so I bring my artist brain to everything I do and sometimes I can make things outside of my mediums with an artistic sensibility but I promise you, I am not a quilt artist. I am not a gingerbread cookie artist. I am not an embroidery artist. Some things are arts and some things are hobbies. When you confuse an artist’s art for their hobby, you hurt their feelings because you have failed to understand their intentions. And when you say, “You should sell this.” It’s not always the compliment you think it is.

I’m not trying to say this isn’t a nice quilt I made. I’m pretty proud of it, honestly. But click on through to look at Bisa Butler’s quilts and you’ll see what I mean.

This post was brought to you by my patrons on Patreon.

They also bring you the podcast version of the blog.

It’s also called Songs for the Struggling Artist 

You can find the podcast on iTunesStitcherSpotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

screen-shot-2017-01-10-at-1-33-28-am

Every podcast features a song at the end. Some of those songs are on Spotifymy websiteReverbNation, Deezer and iTunes

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A Visit from the TikTok Fairy Godfather
October 17, 2022, 8:59 pm
Filed under: American, economics | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

The video made me cry. It was clearly meant to – and it succeeded. It’s the one where the young man asks the stranger – an old man with his walker – if he’ll go to Disneyland with him and they go to Disneyland and have a fantastic time and at the end, the old man (100 years old, a veteran, we’re told) tries to express what the day has meant to him and cries. He says he thought his life was over. It is moving and very sweet. And very popular. I saw the TikTok video on Twitter where it had millions of view and then looked for it on TikTok where it also had millions of views and it’s also on Instagram, where I assume it also has millions of views. If I were Disney, I’d be setting up a Bring an Elder to Disney Program right now, because I predict this is going to be a trend. And it would be a lovely trend. Young folks searching out older folks to take them out for a fun day? Awesome.

But of course I had to look more deeply at all this because as sweet as it is, there’s something dark underneath. The reason this 100 year old man thought his life was over was, I assume, because we have TERRIBLE support for our elders in this country. There’s very little in the way of services and many elders just fall through the safety net. Because there is no safety net.

And I looked up the young man who took this 100 year old veteran to Disneyland and I watched many of his other TikToks and he’s very well intentioned. Kindness is his brand. His videos are full of him handing very poor people a wad of cash or taking them shopping. And I cried through a lot of them, I’m not going to lie. The unhoused guy who just wanted some art supplies when asked what someone could get for him? Heartbreaker. The guy living in a broken down car who will soon have a van of his own because this guy’s raising funds for him? Very moving. To see a person’s life changed with a handful of cash is really hard not to get caught up in. I cannot fault this guy for going out there and handing people life changing amounts of money.

But I can’t stop thinking about how dark it is that this sort of TikTok Fairy Godfather is the only hope a lot of folks have. It’s very cool that a lot of his viewers band together to support getting a homeless person a place to live but they wouldn’t have to if we, as a society, just managed to take care of our vulnerable citizens. It’s very nice for all of us to cry over the man going shopping for art supplies and helping to fund getting him a prosthetic leg but why couldn’t we just allocate some of our taxes to ensure that folks like him never have to end up on the street in the first place? We shouldn’t need a tearjerking kindness video to make sure that everyone has a home and the services they need to live. Because this fairy godfather of TikTok can’t help everyone.

I can’t help thinking of all the people who aren’t video friendly – that don’t cry when they secure his largesse or the people he never meets at all.

It feels like the mark of a very decadent society that we have those sorts of entertainments. In the disability community, it’s called Inspiration Porn – where abled folks use the images and stories of disabled folks to motivate themselves. It’s the “This guy climbed a mountain with one leg and one eye. What are you doing with your life?” sort of thing. And I think these TikTok videos, where we watch poor people’s lives get changed with cash, are mostly poverty porn. Look how easy it can be to change a poor person’s life by just handing them a bunch of money. But actually that’s right. Pretty much all the evidence points to giving poor folks money as the answer to poverty. But doing it on an individual basis instead of at a societal level just seems cruel.

I like these videos while I watch them but the more I think about them, the sadder I get. It reminds me of that Selfless Teacher story I wrote about a while back – where the teacher won an award for making sure her students were fed and had clean clothes. It’s the same situation of lionizing and supporting one nice example, one lucky good egg while we let the rest languish. As a society, we could solve homelessness, for example, by just giving folks homes. Evidence suggests that this is much cheaper than all the ways we currently deal with homelessness. But it wouldn’t make good video, I guess? Kindness coming from individuals just plays better on screens? Anyway, this sweet old guy got to go to Disneyland with a generous stranger. It’s a nice video. Just don’t think about it all too deeply.

These are fairy godMothers…but they are from Disney! Here random person – have a life changing experience!

This post was brought to you by my patrons on Patreon.

They also bring you the podcast version of the blog.

It’s also called Songs for the Struggling Artist 

You can find the podcast on iTunesStitcherSpotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Every podcast features a song at the end. Some of those songs are on Spotifymy websiteReverbNation, Deezer and iTunes

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How to Make Money as an Artist

The answer to how to make money from your art reminds me of a joke Steve Martin used to do. The bit goes, “You can be a millionaire and never pay taxes. You can have one million dollars and never pay taxes. You say, Steve – how can I be a millionaire and never pay taxes? First, get a million dollars. Now….”

Except with art – it’s a long list of things like: First, become really popular or First, make commercially profitable work or First, be incredibly well connected socially. Or really, just the same: First, get a million dollars.

If you’re wondering how to make money from your art, chances are you don’t have any of those things yet because if you did, you would probably already be making money from your art and thus we have the art making paradox.

I have read endless articles and books on this topic and they all offer more or else the same thing in more or less optimistic language, depending on the publication. They all know that this is what everyone wants to know, so this is what they tell you, even though no one has the secret. I’m not going to lie to you – the reason why there are so many articles about how to make money from your art is because everyone wants the answer and no one knows how to do it, aside from the Steve Martin, “First, get a million dollars” way. There are some things to try, for sure. There are possibilities and methods. Maybe one will work for you but there are no guarantees.

However – I don’t want to deny what you came here for – so at the risk of repeating what every other article about this says – I will, in fact, offer you some strategies for making money on your art work. I will be unable to avoid drawing on my experience and of other artists I’ve known, though, so you can expect, perhaps, an uncomfortable amount of realism included.

Okay. First:
Get a million dollars.
Kidding. Sorry. Couldn’t resist.

First: Make art. If your art requires an upfront investment and you can make it, do it. If you can’t, find ways to adapt. Like, if you’re a painter and you can’t afford a canvas, sketch and draw for a while until you can get the canvas. Make drawings and sketches and paintings. Write novels and plays and blogs and screenplays, etc, etc. Don’t think about selling any of it at first. You just have to do it enough that it becomes part of your life.

If you’re a performing artist, you’re going to have difficulties of a different sort. You’re going to need space (try a park? A basement? Your living room?) and you’re going to (most likely) need other people. Finding other people who will contribute to your art without compensation is probably harder than actually making your piece. All I can advise here is kindness, transparency and gratitude. That is, if you don’t have any money to pay your artists – say, “I don’t have any money to pay you.”

There are those who will pretend they have money to pay artists and then do not have money to pay artists and so do not pay their artists after telling their artists they would be paid. Those folks will get an unsavory reputation very quickly.

Whatever your initial projects are, do not expect to make money on them. The odds are that you will not.

The odds are probably such that your second and third ventures will also not make you money. But you stand a better chance the more work you make – and if you’re lucky you will cease to care quite as much about that.

So – that’s step one. Make your work. And I just want to pause to acknowledge that this is not easy. Making art without money is very very difficult. I have surely talked about this in many blogs before so I won’t go into the unpredictable ways that money makes a difference but just now I suggest that you acknowledge that you’re up against the wall and give yourself hugs.

Step 2: Let’s say you now have a body of work. Make sure you document it because whatever path you take with it, you’re going to need the receipts on your artwork.

Now you can start to think through whether you want to approach making art as a business or as a service. You can try to do both but you’ll likely end up split in half, as any servant of two masters does.

If you pursue the business track, I’d recommend thinking through your boundaries and about what counts as art for you. If you’re happy to be creative on assignment, you will likely be able to make a living. You can get a job in advertising. You can paint for an interior designer. You can write for soap operas. Being creative for a living is entirely possible but be forewarned that this is being “a creative” not being an artist. It’s being artistic for money. It’s not making art. And for a lot of people, this is enough. For some people, they find the balance is to be artistic for work and an artist at home.

If you’re interested in business, you can try selling your art – though I don’t know many who find a way to make this work. Those that do tend to develop a business – they’ll do design to sell their images on t-shirts for example – but given how unwilling most people are to pay for art these days (and for art also read music, theatre, film, dance, writing, etc.,) I don’t know if you can really bank on selling.

I’m not saying you can’t do it. I’m just saying that it is a rare artist who can. If you’re Damien Hirst you can sell a pile of lint but if you’re not already Damien Hirst, it’s not likely you can become him. I think partly that’s because those heady days of buying and selling art are kind of over and partly because the obstacles in the way of becoming the kind of artist who sells his work are more extreme.

Let’s look at music, for example, (and just project out for the other arts) in the pre-internet days, we sort of had a pocket of middle class musicians. An indie band could tour and sell their records and maybe they wouldn’t be able to buy a house but they could keep the band alive. Now, the musician middle class has virtually disappeared. There’s a lot of money at the top and nothing the rest of the way down. What I mean is, you’re either getting 14 million plays on Spotify and doing pretty darn well or you’re getting a thousand and making chump change. You’re either Taylor Swift or you’re struggling. Selling records doesn’t do it any more. Selling paintings doesn’t do it. Selling your writing is a similar problem.
You can try it, of course and you very well may be the one in a million who cracks the code. But the odds are worse than they’ve ever been.

Taking the service route may seem like the easier path. You could start a non-profit organization, go sing your tunes for incarcerated grandmothers or paint puppies in peril.
Probably someone has already suggested you “just get a grant” for something you do. If I had a grant for every time someone suggested I get grant, I’d have a fully funded non-profit. Somehow the world thinks it is super easy to just get a grant – I think they think there are pots of free money just sitting around and all an artist needs to do is to go ask for it. If only.

Listen. Grants are great. I started a non-profit theatre company and I am grateful for every grant check I have ever received. But there are hardly pots of money lying around waiting to be distributed. Grantmakers are rare rare birds and finding one that happens to want to fund exactly the sort of thing you want to make is like going searching for a Rose-Throated Becard (that’s a rare bird from Arizona.) And if you do spot one of those Rose-Throated Grants – well, the odds of it providing you more than a tiny token portion of what you need are VERY slim. Can you find a grant? Sure you can. But you might spend 7 times as long searching for and applying for that funding as you do making your art.

I promise you I’m not trying to be discouraging. I just want you to know what you’re up against.

Are there people who make this model work? Absolutely. They are pros at soliciting donations and establishing artistic organizations and the better you get at it, the bigger the grants are that you become eligible for. So if it appeals to you – give it a shot. I just want you to know that it is not as simple as getting a grant. The first grant we ever received as a non-profit theatre company was for $500. We worked on that application for weeks. The labor, if we’d charged for it, would have been three times the amount of the grant. And $500 was only a drop in the bucket of what we needed.

Grants aren’t magic. That’s all I’m saying. Can you probably pick up a grand somewhere? Probably. But I’m going to guess that you’re going to need more than that to do whatever it is that you want to do. And every penny of it will probably have to go back into the project. So – are you making money with your art? Probably not in this context.

Is it hopeless to imagine you could make a living as an artist? No. It is possible. It’s a little bit like – some basketball players get to play in the NBA and most do not. And more and more – it is only the NBA players who are making any money. Metaphorically speaking.
But again – I’m not telling you this to discourage you. Though, I will say, if you’re discouragable by me, just some struggling artist lady with a blog, I think probably a little discouragement is a good idea. The only way you’re going to survive the indignities of making art in America is if you’re undiscourageable.

Like – if I can, with my little truth telling machine, prevent you from going into whatever art you’re considering, it’s actually a service to you. You might just decide to go to law school instead and then, later, once you have a house and car and your kids have gone to college, you might just come on back to your art and I will tell you that you will likely be in a much better position than those of us who have kept at it, without pause, from our youth.

Do I wish I had done it that way? Nope. No one could have convinced me to take a minute away from my art and if you’re like me – I’m sorry. It is easier the other way. I am envious of those who made other choices and have things like…furniture – but I wouldn’t have, couldn’t have, done it their way.

But let’s say you are like me and no one could convince you to abandon your craft.
Here are some ways you can make it work.
1) Get a full time job. Do your art at night. (Or whatever arrangement of the day you find.) Some of the happiest artists I know have full time office jobs. Others have full time teaching positions.
2) It’s the Gig Economy! Gig it up! Have 6 jobs! I’ve done it. It’s crazy but if you’re trying to prioritize your art, sometimes it’s good to more or less make your own schedule so you can build in a rehearsal day or whatever. I know a Broadway actor who became a handy-man so he could grab a gig when he had the time. When thinking about Day Jobs, I recommend Carol Lloyd’s book, Creating a Life Worth Living – and consider whether or not it will be beneficial for you to do your day job in the big tent of your art or to do something entirely separate. Like, if you want to be a circus performer, would you be happy with a gig as a ticket seller at the circus or will it hurt your heart to be around the thing you love and not IN it? Anyway – jobs, gigs, support careers – they’re a reality for most of us.
3) Other avenues to consider are things like crowdfunding. Crowdfunding, when it first came up in its digital form, was thought to be the future of the arts. It has not turned out to be the panacea it was hoped it would be. But there are ways to crowdfund your work. See also Amanda Palmer’s astonishing Kickstarter album – followed by her great success on Patreon. But – in order for Crowdfunding to work in those magical ways – you have to have a crowd that is already in your corner. If you’re not already popular, crowdfunding is a lot trickier. Amanda Palmer killed it on those platforms because she already had a giant committed fan base when she joined. Personally, I get the bulk of my support on Patreon. I don’t have a CROWD, per se. But I do have some really dedicated supporters – and if you can find even just a few of those, they can make a tremendous amount of difference. If you have people in your life who are willing to help you out, I highly recommend letting them. I’ve known a lot of artists who felt like they couldn’t accept offers of support or patronage and without that avenue, your options for funding your work are really few. I wish it were not so but it is. Art is important. If you have to make it, you will find a way. If you let people help you make it, it will be a lot easier.

Now – a lot of arts support organizations will likely not enjoy this post. They will strenuously argue for their efficacy at giving artists the skills they need to make money. These organizations are some of the top creators of the How to Make Money posts and books and podcasts, etc. It’s how they justify paying all that rent or those salaries for those organizations. Many of these art-support places are very invested in the possibility of magical money that will come to the artists that work hard at the skills they have to offer. I would love it if this were so. I have taken nearly every workshop these sorts of organizations have to offer. Marketing for artists! Grantwriting for artists! Touring! Social Media for artists! Budgeting for artists! PR for artists! Databases for artists!

You can know how to do all those things and still never see a sustainable dime. You can make good work, do bang up support for it and still never find sustainability or even a break. It doesn’t reflect on your quality. It is really and truly the luck of the draw. Not all art is marketable. Not all art makes money.

You should play the game if you want and have to but if it doesn’t fly – it’s probably not you. It’s just that very few things fly.

Even a million dollars isn’t a guarantee. However – it does up your odds significantly. So – to really improve your chances of making money from your arts:

First – get a million dollars.

This post was brought to you by my generous patrons on Patreon.

They also bring you the podcast version of the blog.

You can find the podcast on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

screen-shot-2017-01-10-at-1-33-28-am

Every podcast features a song at the end. Some of those songs are on Spotify, my websiteReverbNation, Deezer and iTunes

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Want to help this artist beat the odds?

Become my patron on Patreon.

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If you liked the blog and would like to give a dollar (or more!) put it in the PayPal digital hat. https://www.paypal.me/strugglingartist

Or buy me a coffee on Kofi – ko-fi.com/emilyrainbowdavis



I’m Not a Productive Member of Society and I Have No Worth
November 11, 2018, 10:52 pm
Filed under: art | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Now – before you leap to my defense against myself, you should know that I know this is a lie. I’m being deliberately provocative here. On good days, I see myself as incredibly productive and worth a whole lot. But there are days when I feel the capitalist values beating against me a little more strongly than others.

Capitalism says that the way for me to be a productive member of society is to make a lot of money, a lot of capital – which I should then spend. Or, if I don’t create capital, I should be productive by providing my labor to someone who IS doing some capital generating. I don’t do any of this and am therefore an unproductive member of society. When productivity means money, which it usually does, I am very clearly not productive.

But – there are those who define productivity in the sense of producing stuff. In this sense, I am in a very productive stage of life. I may not be contributing capital but I have, this last year or so, put forth into the world five albums worth of music, several plays, two podcasts, a novel and a multitude of blog posts. By sheer volume of creation and production, I’m one of the most productive members of society I know. But not one of those things earns me a salary or makes a profit. So I‘m not worth anything.

If you measure by money and not ideas, I am worthless. This is why I don’t measure by money. I have zero net worth. By your usual American standards, I am not a valuable member of society. Neither is any other struggling artist.

But I hope you realize how ridiculous this is. Do we only value a work of art when it makes money for someone? There are some for whom that is true. I happen to think art is worth something separate from how much money it can bring in. If you’ve gotten this far with me, I’m guessing you think so too.

It’s not just art that’s worth more than money, either. Raising one’s own children might get you a tax credit but it’s not money in the bank. In order to get that tax credit, you have to make some money elsewhere. The multitude of caretaking jobs that are unpaid or underpaid are overwhelming. Can we call someone who cares for their sick or elderly family member unproductive? Worthless? When we value “productivity” and “net worth” above all else, that’s what we do.

Then, too, when we extend this idea out to its natural conclusion in the other direction, we’re looking at many many “productive” people who are actually quite destructive to the society, culture and/or the planet. Guys selling sub prime mortgages were extremely productive if we define productivity financially. They made SO MUCH money. And they destroyed, not only many people’s lives but also the world’s economy, which led to destroying even more people’s lives. Someone happily at home taking care of their children isn’t looking so bad now, is it?

I’m not trying to take down capitalism. (Couldn’t if I tried.) But I came up with this title (and therefore this whole piece) on a day when I was feeling a sense of shame about my life and how I’ve chosen to live it. On a better day, I recognize what a load of crock it is that we define productivity and worth financially. I’d love to see some way to embrace some of the other measures of productivity in development. If we had a Universal Basic Income, for example, and we weren’t so worried about finding the money for essentials, we might discover a world of possibility for things created outside the realm of the financial demands. Scientific discoveries could expand tremendously if they weren’t tied to a need to make money for the companies that fund them.

In other words, if we worried less about being financially productive members of society, we might be able to be actually more productive. We could make more things. Discover things. Create things. Contribute love and service. Make an exciting, artistic, scientific, thrilling world full of art and love. Not just money.

I have seen many an artist twist themselves into knots trying to demonstrate the more socially acceptable forms of productivity while their artistic productivity languishes. I’m not talking about the day jobs we do to survive. I’m talking about busy work. I’m talking about feeling like I should be writing emails instead of writing a song. I’m talking about feeling like I’ll be a better person if I just do more tasks that might, one day, relate to money or a job.

For my own creative practice, I have seen that the less I worry about my productivity in a capitalist sense, the more productive productive I can be. In other words, when I can joke about not being a productive member of society and having no worth, when I can embrace a sort of anti-productivity stance and start to scale my worth differently, if only in my own mind, I find that I can actually access creativity in a fuller, more whole-hearted way, which births many creative children that would not have otherwise been born. That’s the kind of productivity I actually value. That is worth a great deal to me.

This blog is also a podcast. You can find it on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts.

If you’d like to listen to me read a previous one on Anchor, click here.

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Every podcast features a song at the end. Some of those songs are now an album of Resistance Songs, an album of Love Songs, an album of Gen X Songs and More. You can find them on Spotify, my websiteReverbNation, Deezer and iTunes

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